


Unadulterated Crushes and Minimum Benefits

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dersecest - Freeform, F/M, High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Early in your Junior year of High School, you fell for Rose Lalonde and the next two months of your life were somewhat shot. Jade fails Algebra 2 and tries not to think too hard. John gets better at Halo and thinks too hard. Rose drinks wine and is way too smart for her own good. Your name is Dave Strider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unsupposed

"Hold on, say that again."

"I like Rose Lalonde."

His jaw is half open for a second and his face contorts into puzzlement. 

"You like Rose Lalonde."

"I like Rose Lalonde. We established that."

"But I thought you and Jade were like fuckbuddies or something!"

"Nah. She's all yours, pal."

He still looks really confused. John has never been one to pick up on things quickly.

"How long have you...?"

"Like two or three weeks since I noticed it."

He leans back in his gamer chair and looks at the ceiling.

"Really?"

"No, Egbert. I'm just joking. I make a big deal about telling you that I am head over heels for this chick and I'm joking. So glad you caught on."

He hesitates, then says, "Sarcasm, right?"

"Of course it's sarcasm, fucktruck."

He even deigns to pause the game so you two can talk. He works his mouth around and bites his lip for a minute before he actually talks. 

"Wh-why?"

"Dude, have you seen her?"

"Yeah, but she's not necessarily the most confident girl!"

"Oh god, you don't have gym with her. That's fuckin' right."

"Well?"

"Well you're missing out. Have you seen her legs?"

"Course not."

"Oh god, her hips, too. And the way she carries herself when she's walkin' down the halls? She OWNS that motherfucker. And how smart she is? Dude, she recited Emily Dickinson in LATIN in front of the entire fucking class and I almost came in my pants."

"Maybe TMI."

"Maybe? The things I would DO to that girl, bro. I'd fuck her till she breaks around me."

"Dude, I don't need to know your plans for the sophisticated goth chick."

"She's not goth, she's gothic. Get your facts straight."

John shakes his head as he picks up the controller and unpauses, delivering a facefull of bullets to your character. 

"Dave, has it ever crossed your mind that this means you're leading Jade on?"

"Naw, man, she and I are just friends with minimum benefits. These benefits are fuckin' tiny. They're smaller than your di--"

"I walked right into that one."

"That you did."


	2. Potential

She walks on the other side of the hall from you. You deign a glance at her and she gives a nod of acknowledgement. 

"Strider."

"Rose."

She pauses and looks at you. You slow down and turn back. The tension between your gazes is evident.

"Yeah?"

"You called me Rose."

"So?"

"Are we on a first name basis yet?"

"Totally."

"Glad we could cut all the bullshit and get to being best friends. I'm so happy I was allowed to grace the presence of such an intellectual giant."

She turns on a heel and walks away. Before she turns a corner she calls back.

"See you later, Dave."

;;;

Jade sits next to you. She's your desk partner in mathematics. She knows she's smart enough to be in Calculus, but she stays in Algebra 2 with you. Wonder why? 

She inches her chair over a few inches so that your thighs make contact. She keeps her lips pursed slightly, eyes on the teacher. You observe her body top to bottom. She's pretty cute. But too silly. But those are some nice curves.

You place your right hand on her thigh and trace circles with your index finger, and you both pretend to not notice. 

Ten minutes pass. 

You start to stroke up and down. She shudders slightly at the first movement but grows accustomed to it. Her serious expression turns into a slight smile.

Twenty minutes pass.

She's leaning to her left a bit, and her hair is tickling your neck. Eight more inches downward and she'll be on your shoulder. You keep stroking.

Thirty minutes have passed since you made contact first and you are officially entangled in this girl. Her head is on your shoulder and you are staring ahead. John turns around for a moment and   
sees you both. Jade keeps looking ahead, but the smile on her lips is evident.

John shakes his head at you, frowning.

;;;

"Dave."

Rose Lalonde is four inches shorter than you are and standing altogether two inches closer than the last time you talked up close. You can smell her perfume and see the light freckles painted   
beneath her eyes.

"Rose."

"I heard you and my friend Jade have been messing around."

You sigh and look off to the side, breathing out, "Oh yeah?"

"Do you even like her?"

"I'm not at liberty to answer any of your questions, Lalonde."

"You're a dick."

She walks past you. Her hair is growing longer, you notice as she speedwalks away.


	3. Probable

Rose is never the one to start conversations, so you've gotten pretty great at saying, "Hey, Lalonde." as suave and sexy as you can. 

So it surprises you when she approaches you with a question on her mind.

"Hello, Strider."

"Lalonde."

"How do I look?"

You hesitate, then raise your eyebrows and cock your head to the side. You peer from behind your shades and say,

"Lalonde, are you on something?"

"Of course not. I'm asking you, a boy, a question that I believe only a heterosexual boy like yourself could answer."

You laugh, then look at her clothing. She looks hot. But you can't say that. She sports a white cardigan and a Deftones T-Shirt. A jean skirt reaches just above her knees and white socks up to the middle of her shins. Her shoes are white and have buckles on them. It's cute as hell.

"You look fine."

"Fine?"

"Just fine."

She smirks out of one side of her mouth, then raises an eyebrow and walks away. You turn and watch her ass work away from you.

;;;

"So there's a party on Friday night." John says, not looking up from his Econ homework.

The library is not usually the place for you and John to catch up on things. John usually asks you over to play video games and you usually just text. But since you did kind of have to pick up your grades, you gave him a load on and hightailed your way there after school. You're much faster at work than he is, but it's probably cause you half ass all of it.

"Party?" You respond.

"Yeah, there's this party going on at that one kid Tom's house. This Friday."

"What's gonna happen? Who's gonna be there?"

"Your lady friend will be."

You laugh, "Which one?"

"Both of them."

You swallow a chuckle, then smile. 

"I'll be there."

"Just for your information, dude, you better not end up doing anything with Jade."

"I can't make any promises."

"Dude, this is fucked up. You really should stop doing stuff with her."

"She's the one doing stuff with me."

"Oh my god, you're being the immature one now."

You sit in silence for the next half hour.

;;;

Thursday afternoon, you ask Rose for her number.

"Dave Strider, how are you?"

The only time she talks to you, and the only time you talk to her, are when you're both in private and you can talk to her certain that nobody you knew would try to hop in on the conversation.

"I'm doin' just great, Rose Lalonde. Yourself?"

"Grand."

You both stare at each other for a few seconds. She's wearing a bit more eye makeup. She looks kind of like a whore. It's nice.

"John told Jade told me that you were going to this party tomorrow, now is that bullshit or can I expect to see you there?"

"You got your hopes up, Lalonde?"

"We may never know."

You snicker.

"I'll be there."

"Sounds wonderful."

She moves around you and starts to walk away.

"Hey, Rose!" you call after her.

"Yes?"

"Are we going to be the messengers for these two friends of ours?"

"It would seem that way. I've grown very comfortable rushing parcels back and forth from Johntown to Jadeville to Strider City."

"I'll need your number to do that job best."

She laughs and shakes her head before walking away. 

You hear a string of numbers in her subtly sexy voice before she leaves your sight.


	4. Likely

It rings three and a half times before she picks it up.

"Strider."

"How'd you deduce that?"

"I know that I gave you my mobile's number, and I know that you would call, and I know when you'd be home, and I know that nobody else would have the business of calling me."

"Remarkable."

"That's one word for it. The other would be "stalkerish" but I don't believe that knowing when you called me would fit in that category."

"Why not?"

"I may have expected a call."

You smile, and she can hear the smile in your voice.

"So why are you calling, Dave?"

You realize that you had no reason.

"Uh..." you hesitate a few seconds longer than you should have, "Just bored. And you were my last resort."

"Don't be too obvious about it, Dave."

You turn red in an instant, "About what?"

"If you need help with Jade, you could just ask."

You almost sigh in relief, "Y-yeah."

"Give her a present or something. She's a total romantic, she'd love that. Sappy little things like a necklace or a bracelet."

You thank her and hang up before you realize you really don't care at all.

;;;

"Are you gonna be at Tom's party tonight?" 

Jade has green eyes, you note for the ten millionth time, as she looks up at you while you sit down at your desk. You sigh and respond, "Yeah, totally."

"Awesome, I'm gonna be there, too!"

"Nice, Harley."

"Or is a coolkid like you embarassed to be around someone like me?"

"Hell no."

You sit down and she scoots her chair a bit closer.

"You really need to step off, Harley."

"Who's stepping on, coolkid?"

You shrug and allow her.

Time passes.

And class ends without you doing anything.

You do not touch Jade Harley.

You do not get within an inch of her.

And you get up to leave.

"I'll see you later, Dave!"

"Totally."

;;;

"John."

"Dave."

"So, uh, when is that party?"

"Show up like after nine or something. That's when coolkids show."

"Okay."

"You're not going to have sex with Jade."

You don't answer.

"Dave!"

You walk a bit quicker.

"Dave, don't you fucking think about it!"

You turn a corner and hear him scream.

"Dave!!"


	5. Obvious

"Bro, I'm going out."

"Where to?"

"Party. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Use protection."

"Fuck off."

You open the door and shrug into your jacket. You jog to the car and take it over to the address John specified. You can faintly hear kids talking and some laughing and screaming. You put your jacket back in your car and walk inside. You're not greeted by anybody, and worm your way through, making your best attempt to avoid anybody you don't want to talk to (John) and to talk to people you do want to talk to (Rose) and maybe get freaky with somebody. (Jade)

However, you run into none of these people by the time you circle the bottom floor several times. You see dancing that has already begun to get a bit freaky. You think that you may join into that stuff later, but for now, you abstain.

"Dave!" 

Jade works her way out of the dance floor. She's wearing short shorts, Converse high-tops, and a lime green tank top low cut enough so you can glance at her cleavage for a second. She appears to not notice. 

"Jade. How's it hangin'?"

"I've been waiting for you!"

She pretends to stumble forward, closer to you. She's an inch away. She looks up at your face and you remove all expression from it for a minute.

"What's up, Harley?"

"Want to dance?" She says.

You tap her hips asking for consent, and then a few minutes later, you two are grinding. On the dance floor.

People make room for you two because you're going so hard. And she's GOOD.

Rubbing up against you, it takes every nerve in your body to not pop a boner. 

She's shaking in a strictly not-high-schooler way. It's more of a I-do-this-for-a-living pornstar shaking. Her body is violating all the codes that John and you set down. You wouldn't care, but you can't seem to match her pace, no matter how hard you try. So you cut it short and sneak away.

"Whoa, that was fun." She sighs.

"Yeah." You keep the poker face on and say, "I'm gonna go look for John. See you later."

"Later, coolkid!"

You leave, a cloud of shame and sweat following you.

;;;

You sit on the staircase, tapping your feet to a beat blasting in your head. 

The partygoers don't look at you and continue drinking and grinding and talking. Some smile. Others do not.

John is nowhere to be seen. Jade has vanished into the crowd. You figure if you sit in one spot, Rose will find you.

This has not proven to be the case for eight and a half minutes.

And then you see her.

She wears something quite different from what she normally wears at school. It's a cute little vest that she probably didn't bother to hang up. Underneath it is a blue sweater and a skirt reaching slightly higher than before. She wears leggings and Airwalks. And it's really really pretty.

Her makeup is a little bit more than usual. She...she's wearing lip gloss today. You can imagine her in your arms, as you lean down and plant a kiss on her slightly parted lips.

And then you realize that you've been watching her walk up to you for an uncomfortably long time.

You choke out, "Lalonde."

"Dave. Nice to see you. How are things?"

"Good. I guess. I mean, they're pretty chill."

"Chill is the word for things."

"Hell yeah, man."

"Any complications thus far at this social gathering?"

"Besides not knowing anybody by name, nah, I'm doing pretty fuckin' alright."

"Well, you know me."

The emphasis she puts on me makes you skip a breath and your mouth hangs open slightly. You can smell her perfume. You can practically feel her lying naked in your arms.

"Strider? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, cool. Like I said."

"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"

"No. No, I haven't."

"Let's remedy that, shall we?"

Your brain, riddled with the pangs of infatuation, has trouble comprehending the subtle implication of that sentence. It takes you four and a half awkward seconds for Rose Lalonde to continue.

"Let's get drunk together."

"Yeah! Yeah, let's."

"Glad to see you being so flexible with the situation. Follow me."

You walk a few feet behind her, weaving in and out of the crush of students that you assume attend your school.

Her cute little behind is twitching a little bit with each step she takes, and it's not just hot, it's kind of breathtaking.

She's not strictly _sexy_ per se, but the way she holds herself and how she moves her body is attractive.

You reach a door that is clearly not recommended for entry, but Rose Lalonde has no boundaries. Nothing stops this woman. She boldly turns the golden doorknob and beckons you follow. Nobody notices you vanish into the basement.


	6. Positive

"Dave."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever drank before?"

"My bro gave me a beer once or three times."

She shakes her head with a slight smile lifting up her face.

"Here you go."

She hands you a bottle of wine. You hesitate and then take a sip. It feels dry and hot in your throat but you manage to choke it down.

"That was...interesting," you say, "but not altogether too bad."

She laughs and throws her head back, drinking like a professional. Her cheeks fill and she swallows the wine. Sighing, she hands you the bottle back, and you try to follow in her steps. You can slightly taste her on the bottle, but maybe you're imagining it.

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"...I'll ask you when you're drunker."

"Shit, Lalonde, I'm excited now."

"You'll have to wait for the parcel to arrive."

"Drink."

You drink.

;;;

You're not drunk yet, you just feel a bit warm on the inside. Things become easier. Talking is a lot simpler. You're forgetting to include adjectives and occasionally stumble, unsure of how sober Dave was able to spit out extemparaneous like nobody else.

But Lalonde is able to drink quicker than you. And she's starting to warm up to you a bit. You may be imagining it, but she appears to be closer. Also prettier now.

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"So do you actually harbor a romantic liking for Jade?"

"Totally, we're gettin' married," you hesitate, "or something like that."

"Nice."

"Do you actually like Johnny?"

"Friends."

"Mm."

;;;

"Dave?"

"Shup? Sup. Sup."

"How're you holdin' up?"

"Pretty cool."

"Cool."

"It is. Super cool. It's like..." You hesitate again.

"It's like what?"

"I have no idea." 

"Mm."

;;;

"Rose?"

"What's up my best cookid? Ya know, you're like my favourite person right now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Rose?"

"What?"

"I like you like a lot. You're all pretty and cool and stuff."

"I know!"

"Oh. Cool."

"I like you too, Dave."

"Cool."

"Like whoa I'm like..."

"Like what?"

"I don't even know, Strider."

You find yourself looking into her eyes. You can't fathom what you see in them, but it's something. And it's enticing. Is that the right word? You can't tell. Why are you thinking   
this?

Rose Lalonde kisses you.


	7. Sense

For a moment Dave Strider seems like somebody you're happy with being.

You're feeling something that you don't understand right now. It's...happy, but you can't actually be sure about the quantity of the happiness. It's...there, though.

Rose whispers, "Hey, Dave?"

"Rose."

"Forgive me if this is inconvenient or somethin' like that but are you really loud?"

"Loud?"

"You know what I mean."

You look into space for a minute while she works at pulling your shirt off. Then it hits you.

"Uh. No."

"That's good. We are at a party."

You raise your arms to allow her to lift your shirt off your torso and over your head. You keep your shades on. She...ogles...your bare chest for a minute and then comes back to  
kissing you. 

"Wait. Dave."

"Yeah?"

"This isn't working."

She pulls away and grabs your cheeks carefully, then instructs you.

"Open your mouth."

You follow the order and she follows suit. She thrusts her tongue into your mouth and you start to do a sort of intricate fencing with your faces.

You help Rose shrug out of her vest and her sweater comes off, causing her hair to become a sort of sexy-wild. She wears a purple bra that's pretty plain, but the sight of her boobs, even behind a bra, excites you.

Hey, Rose.

Hey, Rose.

"Rose."

"What?"

"I love you." 

You almost mean it, too. But right now, looking at her, you think that you definitely would marry her. You'd marry her and have children. This all flashes before your eyes. She doesn't respond to your fickle proposal.

She relocates her kisses from your lips to your neck. Then to your collarbone. She sucks and...she's biting. How hot is that? 

You stomach is painted with the invisible trail of Rose Lalonde's lips.

You arch your back, and kind of emit a sigh. She takes this as a go ahead. She grabs your waist and continues sucking at your bare chest. Does she plan to go further?

"F-fuck, Rose. Forgive me if this is pretty inconvenient, but it'd be pretty great if you helped me out down there."

She again, does not respond. 

You can't tell whether she's playing hard to get or if she's getting there. Either way, you're losing patience, and your sex is growing stiff behind the wall of your jeans.

"Rose."

She speaks for the first time in twenty minutes, "Strider."

You take charge. You take her by the shoulders and lay her horizontally on the couch. You kiss her just the same way she did with you. You cup your hand around her breast and squeeze softly. You can feel an unspoken groan behind her lips.

"Dave."

You don't respond, to give her a taste of her own medicine.

You put your hands behind her back and fiddle with her bra. It's almost like a Rubik's cube, but you figure it out. 

Her breasts are fuller and higher than you actually assumed, even though you think fairly highly of Rose Lalonde. You fondle them, praying that whatever you're doing feels good.  
You rub a thumb across and around her nipple and she flushes pink.

"Dave."

You direct your hands south, your fingertips tracing little lines down her stomach. Her brow furrows. You put your fingers underneath her skirt and start to pull down.

"Dave," she says, and it doesn't sound like a moan.

You don't reply and pull her skirt further down, around her shoes. The colour of her underwear doesn't match her bra, but you didn't expect her to have coordinated them.

"Dave," she says firmly.

"Lalonde."

"I'm sorry...but..."

"But what?"

"But I don't want to have sex with you. Not now."

You freeze. You know that's okay, but you don't know how to get yourself out of this.

"That's cool," you say, although a part of you disagrees, "I get it."

"Thanks."

She's quick at grabbing her skirt and pulling it up. Her breasts disappear behind her bra. Her sweater and vest add another layer between you two. She brushes her hair down and smiles at you before walking up the stairs.

You, Dave Strider, sit on the couch, somewhat confused, somewhat upset, somewhat angry, somewhat happy, and very intoxicated.


	8. Degrade

Rose Lalonde avoids your gaze when you return to school. She appears to vanish.

Her number sits on your contact list, sad to relate. You haven't the guts to call it. 

Jade leans into you in Algebra and you don't lean back. You get a C on the test.

John plays video games with you and starts to win. You've lost your touch.

Bro keeps taking girls in and not screwing them so you can get some sleep. 

You think your heart is broken.

;;;

"Dave."

"Yeah?"

"You've been sort of..."

"Hm?"

"A bit quiet."

"Yeah?"

You're spitting out pre-programmed responses to Jade. You stare out the window. You haven't completed a question of the classwork. She has been working in your verbal absence. She's not bad at it, it's just that she hasn't picked up on any of the concepts because she's been doing things with you.

"Like, are you alright?"

You look at her. Real concern dances in her green eyes.

"Yeah. I'm cool."

"Well, I know that."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Did something happen at the party or over the weekend?"

"No. I'm fine."

"You just seem..."

"I'm fucking fine," you snap, "OK?"

;;;

"Dave."

"Egbert."

"Did you hook up with Jade?"

"No. I didn't even see her there."

"That's not what everyone else is saying."

"What's everybody else saying?"

"They said you were doing stupid sexy dances with Jade."

You sigh, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, apparently you two were grinding for like half an hour."

"It was like two or three songs."

"Dave, I told you not to do that."

"Like I care a fuck."

"What?"

"Irony. Are you done yet?"

"N-no! No I'm not finished! Why did you do that?"

"She leapt on me."

"Dave, that's so not okay! You don't even _like_ her!"

"So?"

"Oh my fucking god."

John grumbles and walks away from you. You stand stock still in the middle of the hallway for a minute. Rose walks past you and doesn't look at you. You imagine her breasts. The mental image you kept is fading.

;;;

Rose hasn't talked to you for two weeks. Neither has John. Jade is being relatively quiet. You're pretty much friendless except for a few Strider-followers. And you don't even like them.

Your cell phone doesn't get texts. You lie awake at night looking at the ceiling. You're thinking of something, but you can't even nail down what it is. 

Is this the right thing to do, you wonder. Maybe Rose is waiting for you to talk to her. It's not like you argued with her or anything. Maybe you should talk to her.

What if you mention the party?

That would suck ultimate.

You look at your phone and start texting Rose.

You go through several drafts. One is long and honest, talking about how you like her. The other one is whiny and complaint-full. Yet another is a simple greeting. Another is a chemistry joke. Another is talking about what you did today. Another talks about Jade. Another talks about John. Another talks about your bro.

You finally settle on the ever-so-useful 'sup'.

You wait eight minutes for a reply.

Your phone vibrates in your hand and you anxiously unlock it to see her response.

It reads, 'Hello, Strider.'

She uses perfect grammar and syntax from capital H to full stop. You never thought you could be so attracted to a typing style.

You continue texting for a while, the sunlight disappearing from your room.

DAVE STRIDER: i think i asked you a question lalonde what is up

ROSE LALONDE: Nothing of importance. Same old, same old. Yourself?

DAVE STRIDER: nothin much you know just chilling at home

ROSE LALONDE: What have you been up to in our conversational gap?

DAVE STRIDER: actually close to nothing actually paying attention in classes and getting some fucking sleep for once.

ROSE LALONDE: Sounds fascinating.

DAVE STRIDER: it really is

ROSE LALONDE: I'm doing very well since you didn't ask. I've been doing a lot more crochet and I spent some time with John and Jade last weekend.

DAVE STRIDER: what how come i wasnt informed

ROSE LALONDE: I'm sorry, what?

DAVE STRIDER: dude i had no fucking idea you three were hanging out

ROSE LALONDE: John explained to me that you couldn't be there. Is this not true?

DAVE STRIDER: yeah i havent talked to the little fucker in like weeks

ROSE LALONDE: For what reason in particular?

DAVE STRIDER: nothing

ROSE LALONDE: I see. I must go now, Dave. I'll see you at school tomorrow.


	9. Wither

"Mr. Strider."

Economics is the only class you have with Rose Lalonde besides gym. It is the class you pay least attention in, and it shows in your grades. Your grades dropped from an acceptable B+ to an inexcusable D+. That's enough to punch your GPA in the nose. And your dropping grades in Algebra 2 and English have threatened your graduation capabilities. And the problem is that you don't care.

"Yes, Mr. Jackson?"

"Your grade on the last quiz was absolutely unacceptable."

"Yeah?"

"A 37%, Dave?"

"Yeah." You look at your feet.

"Dave, I know that you can do better than that."

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, Dave, you just have to study harder and be more attentive in class."

"Rose Lalonde sits in front of me."

You feel as though it won't matter if he knows. He's only a teacher.

"...You're going to have to ignore those feelings in this class, Dave."

"Yeah."

"I can move you if you want."

"No."

"Dave, I'm going to call your father next time you perform poorly on a test. To let him know of the situation."

"I don't have a dad."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll call your mother, then."

"My bro is my guardian."

"I see. You may go now, Dave."

"Yeah."

;;;

"Hey, little man."

"Sup, bro."

"Got a call today."

"Oh yeah?"

"45%, man."

"What?"

"That's your overall score in Algebra 2."

"Yeah?"

"It's still early in the semester. You can pick this up, man."

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna graduate so you don't end up being a huge fuckup like your big bro."

"But I want to be a huge fuckup."

"Not in this life, man."

"I get to do what I want to do."

You storm out of the living room and enter your room. You lock it. Your bro doesn't chase you.

You text Rose until you fall asleep.


	10. Fade

Your phone starts ringing. You let it ring eight times before you actually care enough to answer it. You do answer it and realize that it was a mistake.

Egbert's voice emanates from the speaker and you sigh inaudibly.

"Hey, Dave."

"..."

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out downtown with me and Rose and Jade today."

"..."

"Dave, you there?"

"What time and where?"

"In about half an hour at that Starbucks on Catalpa."

"Yeah."

"You're coming?"

"Totally."

"Great!" 

You hear the reciever click.

You and Egbert settled arguments like this. You'd argue, usually by your fault, and then you'd spend a week or more apart, not talking with one another, then you'd call one another and set up a meeting and things would go back to normal. You'd never mention the argument.

But that's why your friendship is cool and advantageous for you. You can do damn near anything and you'll always be forgiven.

You know that's not very good, but you don't truly care. It's awesome.

You shrug into a coat you bought at a Goodwill for 2 dollars and tie up your Chuck Taylors. Your hair is sufficiently wild, and you polish your aviators and step out of your room. 

"I'm going out."

"Hm."

You open and close the door and jog down the staircase outside. 

The wind is heavy, and you feel your hair swoop dramatically to the left. Your jacket flips out and you grin, thinking how badass you must look. You start to walk down to Catalpa Road.

Upon arrival at the new and shiny Starbucks, you swing the door open and see John and Jade standing.

John is clad in a pair of blue jeans and a green fleece, the hood down. Jade wears a pair of black skinny jeans and a cute olive sweater that's a bit too big on her.

"Dave," Jade calls, "You weren't late for once!"

You smile back, "Hell no, how could I miss out on an opportunity like this?"

Jade then does the unthinkable. She wraps her arms around your neck and plants a short lived kiss on your cheek.

You look at John with an expression that reads 'I have no idea', and he nods back with a look of understanding.

"Where's Rose?" 

Jade replies, "I don't know. She said she'll be here, though."

You wait and order coffee. Jade gets a super milky sweet girly drink and John takes one sugar and one cream. You drink black coffee not because it tastes good, but so you can be different.

You drink about a tenth of your drink before Rose Lalonde opens the door of the shop.

Her blonde hair has been styled differently, the part changed, using a berette and not a hairband. Her lips are pouty and pursed ever so slightly. Her purple sweater is slightly form-fitting and her curves are adorned with a pair of acid washed jeans. She wears a pair of hot pink Doc Martens that she rocks so hard you don't even have enough time to wonder who the fuck even wears Doc Martens anymore.

"Hello, all. I see Dave could make it this time."

John tells her yes and you stare at her, your mouth open ever so slightly.

"Dave, how are you?"

She asks you and smiles a smile that has a distinct lush beauty to it.

"I'm pretty good. Yourself?"

"I'm just dandy."

You used to hate that word until she said it.

The four of you go off into the town. It's almost like a double date. John and Jade do their talking, and you and Rose do your talking. Jade attempts to break the iron wall that is your coolkid exteriour and see what's underneath, but there's only more coolkid.

Coffee, Ice Cream, Park, Forest, and then John and Jade decide to go into a store to grab a soda, and you and Rose are left isolated in an alleyway. It's the perfect time to bring it up.

"So you kind of left me hanging a few weeks ago."

Rose doesn't even move. She's Stonewall Lalonde, but you can change that, you're sure.

"You remember."

"Yes, I do."

You take a step closer and lower your shades on your face. A smirk appears on the corner of your face.

"So, what did you think?"

"I thought it was alright."

"Just alright, Lalonde?" You are inches from her. She doesn't look you in the eye.

"Yes. It was fine."

You take her hands and smile at her.

"Hey, Rose, do you want to do something like this again? But just the two of us."

"I'm sorry, Dave, but I cannot say yes. Not now."

Your face freezes in place. That was not the answer you expected.

"A-alright. That's cool."

You step back and she still doesn't look at you.

"Oh shit, I gotta run," You lie, looking at the time on your phone.

You jog out of the alley and start to run home.


	11. Strikeout

"Sup, little man," your bro says as you enter the door.

"Fuck off."

He chuckles and you repeat yourself as you slam your door. You don't sit down or lie down. You pace your room, going in circles, fingers digging into your scalp, thinking only one word, "WHY?"

She hooked up with you. You almost had sex. She said she liked you. And then you asked her out, smooth and suave as usual and she didn't say yes. That doesn't fucking make sense! 

Your head is literally heating up and your eyes are stinging behind an outrage. You stop pulling your hair and punch the wall. Your knuckles crack against the plaster. You kick your bed and you feel your toenail split. You rip down posters. You knock over your fan. You kick around cords and punch walls.

You sit down, your body aching and your head thinking a number of thoughts, none of which you're comfortable with.

Dumped? Rejected? Is that the word? What is it? No, she said not know. She's still into you.

Should you hook up again?

Your phone vibrates.

It's John.

It reads, "where are you?"

You don't respond.

Your phone vibrates.

It's Jade.

It reads, "where are you!"

You don't respond.

Your phone vibrates.

It's John.

It reads, "youre a dick."

You don't respond.

;;;

The wheel turns, nothing is ever new.

You pick up your grades. You could pass.

You don't sit next to Jade anymore.

You don't text Rose. 

You don't talk to bro.

You don't even do anything. You're fucking lazy. Masturbation has lost it's fun. You can't crank rhymes. You can't mix beats.

You forgot how to make SBAHJ.

Before you met Rose, you slept in class. Then you met her and slept 4 hours. Now you sleep all the time. 

You don't know what to do, and even if you did, you wouldn't do it. Instead you do your homework and think about damn near nothing.

;;;

October passes and it's been over two months since you met Rose and two weeks since you asked her out and she rejected you.

And then John shows up at your door. He knocks eight times, an old habit of his. Bro looks at you from the kitchen and you look at him from the couch. He gestures his head over to the door. You stand up, sighing, and open the door. 

Sure enough, John's baby face, contorted into a slight frown, is standing in your doorway.

"Get out here," he says, "I have to talk to you."

You nod and step outside, closing the door behind you.

"Rose says that she's sorry."

"I don't need apologies."

"I know you don't," he says, sympathy in his voice, "but she's sorry."

"How've you three been?"

"Pretty good. We miss you, though." 

A bedrudging smile spreads up his face.

"Okay."

"Maybe you should come back? Start talking to us again? We don't care about anything that happened."

"What happened?"

"You know. With you and Rose and you and Jade and everything."

"Egbert, I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't just forget your mistakes, Dave. That's like a one way train to 'Dave-fucks-up-again-ville.'"

"Not like that's a bad place."

"But nobody else is there but you."

"So what? Not like I need you or Jade."

"But you need her."

"No, I didn't play my cards right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I should have just asked Jade out instead of bothering with Rose."

He looks at you, dumbfounded.

"Dave, have you learned _anything_?"

"I'm just saying, with Rose it's so complicated and with Jade it's so _un_ complicated. I don't even know why I liked Rose, it's not like she'd ever like me back. And Jade likes me, so it'd be easy."

John stares at you for a few seconds, shaking his head.

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

John delivers a weighty right hook to your jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of "Unrequited Crushes and Minimum Benefits". I hope you enjoyed the story, and I hope that Dave being a dick didn't hurt you too much.
> 
> I'll be writing plenty more stories with the kids and plenty more DaveRose stories, so if you're interested in that, go ahead and subscribe to my writing! And if you have any requests, you can shoot me a message or hit me up at http://greyscaleminions.tumblr.com/ and ask me whether I'd write anything for you.
> 
> Thanks a lot for your support!
> 
> ~Grey

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The creators blog is http://greyscaleminions.tumblr.com/


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